.: something that comot can say :.

So far, I have been working as demonstrator for almost 2yrs. I feel accepted and trusted. Every single lab, I can feel butterflies in my stomach!! I'm excited but scared in the same time. You can't expect what questions ur students will ask you tho. For me, that is scary..

So, today 10th lab of BIOL 112 (Biology of Plant) on Water potential. At the end of the lab we had to stay to mark the report down. Hehe. i was tired and hungry.. You know what, it's hard. So many elements that you have to consider. Your mood at that time, handwriting and many more.

I really want to laugh, cry, scream out loud, tear the paper up, everything. Seriously, So many answers, different style and handwriting! Sometimes I wanted to be very strict, sometimes I wanted to be lenient,hahha.. You know what, its all a very good experiences for me since I'll be a teacher one day. I cherish all these precious time with my other demostrator friends and John Steel. Today, he asked me.
" Yana, are you going to demostrate for me next yr?"
" If you want me too.." I smiled
" I've put your name in my list long time ago, and plz consider to stay here!!"
heheheheh.. John,, Plz don't make me feel hard to leave botany dept as I already feel it rite now.
You can't imagine my feeling when I heard more than 5 ppls saying " I can't imagine botany dept without you, a small Asian gurl". I feel like crying.. I really am..

So yea.. that's all for today!! My demonstrating day!! I'm gonna miss them so much!! They are all stay in heart forever..

xoxo
sweetlittlesunshine

Alhamdulillah, today day 8hari pose kat NZ. Tahun ke 2 kat sini!! Kalu nak dibandingkan, pose kat sini sangat best.. Tak panas, so kurang dahaga!! hehe.. Sebenarnya, kalu diingat, tak pernah terlintas pun saya akan keluar dari Malaysia, tanah air tercinta. Sebulan pun dah susah nak percaya. ni kan plak hampir 2thn di sini. Bersyukur sgt2..

Rindu keluarga tolak tepi dulu.. banyak yang saya belajar di sini. Kalu dulu tak pernah masak .. Kat sini , saya belaja.. mencuba mcm2. Mungkin tak seenak masakan ma and even kakngah.. But atleast.. I at some point that I could say.. I've cooked this and that before!! Should be something to be proud of rite?

Di Malaysia, mmg saya belaja bahasa Inggeris.. tapi guna tak selalu.. Mungkin ade org mmg sll 'speaking' kat umah dia. Tapi tidak bagi saya. Still remember, the day I left Malaysia to come here. gementar sgt.. bukan takut barang kena curi ke, sesat ke ape ke.. tapi yang paling saya takut .. saya tak leh speaking bile ade pape.. Serious... Tu yang plg saya takut masa tu .. Mungkin sbb doa ma abh sekeluarga, saya jadi kuat.. Redah aje.. Rasanye.. paling penting kena humble .. and be brave. Jgn takut kalu bt salah.. And yang saya selalu ingatkan diri saya.. kalu salah pun xpe.. bukan kena denda ke ape..

This is quite a journey for me.. Walaupun sekarang English still kong kang kong kang.. but atleast perasaan takut tu dah hilang .. I speak with english native speaker quite alot since I stay with International student and being the only Asian in Botany Dept.. make me stronger,,,each day!! Even now, I dare to make jokes, socialize with ppl and most important thing I could say.. I improve!!

Last yr kena amik 5 paper termasukla thesis preparation. Ya Allah Ya Tuhanku.. Dia saje yang tahu.. betapa susahnya mengharungi hari2 sebagai student di sini.. Kelas di sini jauh beza dari Malaysia.. Open your mouth, speak up.. if not.. .... ZERO for participation.. Read, read and read.. broad up ur knowledge,, in my case mmg saya muntah.. baca reseach articles dan mcm2 lagi. Ppl says 'its not about quantity ,, but its about QUALITY' .. Hurrmm.. how should I put this... it requires both... The more you read, more knowledge.. n of course high quality all along... Tu belum lagi presentation!! Internal assessment!! EXAM!! Sgt2 menakutkan..

Last yr, my aim mmg nak lulus je.. cukupla.. Eventually, Allah blessed me again.. I was shocked.. I didnt see my result online. Didnt have any guts to see it. But when I received the result.. I lost my voice, rs sejuk sgt2.. kaki mmg menggigil...seriously.. only tears!!! I managed to get 1A, 2A- and 2B+. A for thesis preparation? Oh my God!! Not in million yrs I could possibly imagine in my entire life... I wonder it is just sympathy? And I wasn't a freaking smart student when I was in school b4. Trust me.. I was surprised when 2 kiwi friends showed me their exam results. They got below me? Are you for real? Sharing this with you guys isn't that I wanted to show off. Plz don't get me wrong. Just wanted to share my moment of happiness in my study. :)

Love? Not so happy I guess.. Long distance relationship is quite tough for me..Maybe thats the price I have to pay after getting good grades in studies. Allah definately knows the best!! I truly believe that. After setahun lebih,, yang saya jaga sebaik mungkin.. tak lagi mampu sy simpan.. Tapi Alhamdulillah.. ade seseorang yang mulanya teman biasa sudi menyapa hati saya. Buat masa sekarang.. saya tidak berharap lebih.. biarlah sampai abis study.. KAlu ade jodoh pasti xkemana kan.. Kami berkawan!! Harap2 berpanjangan.. Minta dipanjangkan doa dari semua!!

When it comes to health.. this could be the most worried one.. CUaca kat sini mmg condongney ke arah sll skt.. ASTHMA datang menyerang..dan batuk teruk lebih 3minggu. itu yang plg major rasanye.. tak leh saya nafi.. Tapi alhamdulillah.. dapat survive lagi skrg.. Immune system is getting better I guess!! hihi..

xoxo
~sweetlittlesunshine~

P.s. Plz keep shining on me!!

Those experience were soooo sweet.. I love travelling so much
(do not mention how broke I am now.. LOL)..
But on top of everything, I love it sooo much.. nothing can't replace all these..
Winter isn't a good time to travel tho.. but I love it.. Different season offers you different experience.. trust me..
I wish I can bring my family here one day and see all these with me..
And of course my beloved friends back home

P.S mira...baik ko start kumpul duit skrg.. hehehe

xoxo
NZ.. U'll be missed.. always
By me :P

~sweetlittlesunshine~