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Monday, November 26, 2007


hmmm... what should I say.. After long time I haven't write something here.. Over past few weeks, I have been working as a housekeeper at Cargill's motel at George St, Dunedin, NZ. Who thought that I will do this kind of job again. It reminds me The Body Shop a lot although it is not the same kind of job. I'm pretty happy at the beginning. For me the job is very normal. I do that all the time. Tidy up bedroom, wash dishes, dusting, refiill all tea bags, coffee and sugar, clean the toilet and shower room and vacuuming.
-seriously, it is yucky toilet bowl, noyt anly the toilet bowl, sometimes i have to
wipe the wall also,, yucksssss!!! -

-I was cleaning the bath tub-

After all those seem very easy.. But after 3weeks, all those things make me feel a bit boring.. 1 huge different for me, is speed. We can spend all day cleaning our own house but here , you need to speed up. 5-7 rooms per day..phew.. It's very tiring.. And 1 advise for those who want to try, make sure you don't have any back pain history.. It can't be worse.

-Finished the shower room and toilet-

I never thought, these job can be very very very tiring.. Seriously, it is.. But, the good part is, I have pretty good team here, Very friendly and nice supervisor and most of them don't care who you are and where you come from. So , I felt really welcome in this Cargill's housekeeping team. Every morning, at 10.15 am , all of us will have morning tea. This is something that Kiwi really always have. Seems like it is compulsory for peoples here. ;) Again I'm smiling.. I remember when I was working at The Body Shop last year, some of my friends were also smoking. Same like here.. Most of them are smokers. But I don't really care.. :)

-Finished eveything ..yay!!!-

They pay me nzd 11.25 per hour. not to bad actually compare to salary in Malaysia.. hihihi.. But for me, it is not a big deal, what does matter is gaining new experience whicjh I don't think I will get it from no where else.. So far, I'm very happy working there..

p/s: all photos taken were taken by myself after finished cleaning all the rooms. hihihi.. just to show you guys what i have done... pretty good rite? Go Cargill's team!!!

Tribute to all Malaysian's housekeeper in Cargill's Motel: Syai, Iman, Syu, Izza :)
Thursday, November 22, 2007

~far away~

hmm..dramatic title i guess..hihihi.. this time i would like to share my feeling being far away...of course from home la...HOME..what is the definition of home? where is it? i didnt remember when i realize about this..but suddenly it changed.but for sure one place i called home is my family n my hometown. that will never never change ever,,i was born there.i felt love,joy,sadness, happiness and evrything in side my small house and i still feel it now. i told you guys before how far i was travelling to arrive here. yeahh..people can say.. that's only new zealand.who cares..but i care..

10months here..such a big change.i'm growing up drastically.when i was in msia, i was happy too.i had good experience studying, working,,but i can that was a very normal life for me..maybe because i'm closed to my family,,i told my problems to my big bro n my sis..n most of the time they will try to figure it out for me..my brain was not working at all to solve my own technical probs..hahaha..what a spoil child..and to be honest i dont have any ambition, mission, or vision..i am a botany student,,i dont dare to say it out loud i want to be a botanist one day.have u ever heard ppl say MY AMBITION IS TO BCOME A BOTANIST WHEN I GROW UP,,,im sure all my friends who are working as a teacher now will ask their students about it..and most parents want their children to be a doctor, engineer bla bla bla..

but now,,I WANT TO BE A BOTANIST. i wish ppl can hear it from my own mouth.i really want to be someone.i want to contribute atleast something in this field..studying plant.. (i dont deny sometimes it is boring) , doing research in pollination (reminds me of ginecology--hahaha,not only ppl in human n animal studies can do research in sex) botanist do that too..what will pollinators attract to?what rewards they will get from visiting flower? how plant prepare itself to be attractive? even it is more fun because in plant study we have virgin mary....hahhhaha believe it or not..some of them will say no to male..

DNA? reminds me to CSI hahahah..such a pain in the ass...sometimes i hate CSI,,how come the can find it too easy..for 3weeks i've been working with pin and thrum flower,,searching for genetic markers for their mutant..huhu.. i wasted a lot of things,,but thank god the desire to get it done with something drive me to the end,,

can we determine our phylogeny with our odours? like human body smell,sweat..i dont think so.. (correct me if im wrong plzzz,,im sure i have so many fellow friends who involved in science)..but we can do that in plant..sooo exciting..(hihih..maybe just for me)even some specific scent produced by flower can be strong evidence to put them in their own family..ya.. of course chemist will argue about it..or dna ppl dont like this theory.. but that's reality for some botanist..

hhahaha.. im soryy..a bit lost i guess..but.. what im trying to say when i was a botany student in ukm i didnt have any desire about this.. not because the course structure is not good but it just me..sometimes i blamed myself for not good enough like some ppls,, sometime i blamed our education system..(i'm sorry)..but now..i should thank to them..ya..ALLAH knows the best for us n me especially.. n that's why im so happy now for being far away from home..every single moments here make me stronger, build up a a better NOR HARLIANA ----too early to say that but at this moment yes and i hope it will continue..

i wish that i can tell ppl what a joy and excitement studying botany..(im sure im not the only one who feel it) .. n i really want to hear new generation put botanist in their ambition's list..---am i crazy...a bit i guess.. im just in my way to digest every single crap things in my field.....

so my friends..it is suckS when we have to be far far away with our loves one.. just imagine when u want to have lunch or dinner someone from home text u and say 'MA BUAT NASI MINYAK SEMALAM, ARINI MA NAK BUAT LAKSA,, ESOK LAK.. MAYBE PG MKAN SATAY KAT LUAR KOT....'..Sounds unfair and i hate it.. but..maybe that is DUGAAN.. from what i wrote, it doesnt mean staying in our own place is not good.im sure every ppl has their own experience..and im still believe that, HUJAN EMAS DI NEGARA ORG, HUJAN BATU DI NEGARA SENDIRI, MSIA IS STILL THE BEST.. but this is what i feel..what i've been through.. n hopefully sunshine will always shine on me no matter what happened at the end of the day.. thank you Allah.. thank u for those ppls who pray for me.. may Allah bless u all.. =)

Wednesday, November 21, 2007

~persis hati si pungguk~

di saat aku meminta
ia enggan memberi
namun ia datang meghulur
tika aku enggan menerima

kenapa enggan menyapa
kenapa tidak dihirau
bagaimana si dia sedar akan diriku
bagaimana si dia sudi membalas
kenapa begitu sukar untuk mencuit hatinya

tidak aku meminta setempayan emas permata
tidak aku impikan sebekas hati nyamuk
jauh untuk aku idamkan jambatan bertatahkan intan berlian
cukup sekadar khabar pengubat duka

merintih pada sang bulan
ia takkan pernah jatuh di riba
rindu pada yang jauh
ia belum tentu muncul di depan mata
cinta pada manusia
ia bukan jaminan kekal ke akhirnya

walau bulan tidak sudi singgah di ribaku
aku tidak akan jemu mengharap
walau si merpati takkan penah hinggap di jendelaku
akan ku terus menanti

dedaun berguguran bak tanda tanya yang tidak pnah berhenti mengetuk minda
namun sang angin yang bertiup mendamaikan hati yg gundah
gerimis bercucuran menzahirkan tangisan di hati
namun pasti suatu masa
sang matahari tersenyum menyinar lubuk hati yg gusar

aku yakin ...
aku pasti ....
ada bahagia dihujung kedukaan...


Thursday, November 15, 2007

~another half of me come from him~

hurmmm.. i was wondering life without a man in our life..
suddenly i remember about a man who is always try his whole heart to fullfill every single thing i wish in this world..
he will always fight for the best for my family and me..

it is not fair when i read through all my entries. as i wrote something to my mom last time, i wonder how my dad will feel and think there is nothing about him. i won't be here without him.. (for sure i'm not anak buluh betong :)) i received half of his chromosomes. so i'm sure half of me is belong to him. hmm... what should i say...


ingat tak,,
masa kak cik kecik dulu,, abh selalu potong kan kuku kak cik..
k.cik xkn lupe.. sbb until now pun k.cik mmg xreti nk potong kuku sendiri.. still pelukan org lain tolong..
tiap2 ari jumaat b4 abah pg solat jumaat kat pintu umah lama kite..
ingat tak..
ms kc sekolah rendah..abah akan balut sume buku skolah k.cik and adik..
then tulis nama kat sume buku..
tulisan abah mmg kemas and cantik sgt..
tiap2 tahun k.cik dapat pujian dari cikgu skolah.. sbb buku skolah k.chik xpenah renyuk...
ingat tak..
tiap2 tahun sambut hari jadi k.cik and adik..
mesti ade kek dari kedai kek sweden
ade icing and bunga...
kc xde gamba nk letak.. tapi kc xpnah lupe rupe kek tu..
then abah akan amik gambar kek tu saje.
ingat tak..
masa k.cik masuk asrama (SESMA)
tiap2 minggu abah kena datang skolah..
ari kamis petang datang amik baju kotor k.cik
then sabtu k.cik outing.. balik umah,...
kul 5.30 gerak.. anta k.cik ke asrama..
kc rindu kete tokki yg warna kuning air tu.. wlpun kete tu selalu rosak.. tapi tu la yang bawak k.cik n family kemana2..
then b4 bertolak.. abah akan ingatkan k.cik..
abah tau k.cik ni pelupa.. banyak kali kena pusing balik sbb tgh2 jalan kcik baru sedar yg k.cik tinggalkn sume tu kat umah.
ingat tak..
tiap2 minggu abh kena datang ari sabtu kat sesma..

sbb nak kena bawak k.chik pg hospital..
jumpe doktor utk ujian tiroid..
bukan sebulan.. dua bulan .. tapi 3 tahun..
dari form 2 smpai form 5.

~thank you so much abah~

same i said utk ma...mmg takde ape yang boleh gantikan abah..
i'm sure, i won't be here without your bless..
k.cik doakan abah sentiasa sihat dan di panjangkan umur..


Saturday, November 10, 2007

Ma, I owe you the whole world!!

I was touched by kawan's @ munirmuji entry for his mom. it is a called for me to jot down something to honour a special woman in my whole life. it is so hard for me to write this entry. because for me, there is no word to describe how special she is and how grateful i am to share genetic heritage from her. the one and only woman who dare to give up every single breath in her life, asking and begging from Allah to make sure He gave me a chance to live in his world. without a doubt she is my MOTHER.

I'm sure every person will shout loudly and say MY MOM IS THE BEST,, NO ONE CAN REPLACE HER..SHE'S MINE.. and i believe the world can fight because of that. I am feeling so proud and happy, i will never ever said your mom or anyone's mom is the best. i'm sorry if what wrote sounds too harsh. but i'm sure you will do the same as i do.Even my friend who his mom left his dad and him when he was 10 and chose to live with different partner will always say NO MATTER WHAT HAPPEN SHE IS STILL THE BEST MOM I HAVE AND I WILL ALWAYS LOVE HER!!

~My Mom~

JANUARY 31st 1957

Today, i would like to declare that my mom is the best mother in the whole universe.

Thank you for your decision to keep me from the first day you knew you were pregnant.
I'm sure it must be difficult time for you as you were already loosing 2sons ( abg Yoe and abg...).
For sure,
It's a courage from a woman called mom which I won't be able to understand it.
But deep inside my soul, a voice keep whispering softly to me
The best moment in the my entire life which I will cherish and hold it tightly is to have you through thick and thin.. no matter what
Ma.. I'm sure
"thank you" is not enough, "a million dollar" seem to cheap and "a deep blue ocean" is too shallow,
To tell you how thankful I am to have you,
You never ask anything in return,
No one can replace you,
You will always have a speacial place in my heart and my soul,
My first line as I set a prayer to Allah Almighty always goes to you..
I. L.O.VE. Y.O.U

Ma.. kak cik sayang ma sangat2.

I dedicate this beautiful song "I TURN TO YOU" to my dearest mom

Monday, November 5, 2007

cinta saya dan dia

Ia datang tanpa di duga, tidak ku meminta, tapi pabila pintu hati di ketuk, ia tercuit..
SrSo atau MiA pernah berkata,
"ku harapkan panas hingga ke petang, tapi rupanya hujan di tengah hari"

~cinta saya dan dia~

saya kate:

"ee.. asal aku xsecantik orang lain (sambil2 belek muka kat depan cermin) =( "
dia kate:
"awk cantik sangat.. xde orang secantik awak.. cayalah.."
saya kate:
"hensemnye dia.. tapi mesti dia xsuke aku kan.. sape la aku ni if nak banding dgn pompuan lain"
dia kate:
"rupe bukan ukuran, if hati dah suke,, sume tu tolak tepi.."
saye kate:
"btul jugakkan.. knapa nak pk sgt hal tu..manusia kan ade lebih dan kurang.. (hati berbunga riang.. =) "
dia kate:
"awak , suka awak lebih dari kawan,, sayang awak lebih dari seorang kakak,, cinta awak sebagai seorang wanita"
saya kate:
" ape lagi yang boleh saya kate.. terima kasih kerana terima saya seadanya (terasa seperti seluruh isi alam milik diriku)"
dia kate:
"knapa awak amik english test? awk nak pg belaja luar negara ye? knapa awak tak cakap awal2?"
saya kate:
" knape pelu ade beza sebelum dan selepas saya bagitau hal ni... bukan ke kate cinta itu tulus dan ikhlas?"
dia kate:
" maafkan saya.. memang tiada bezanya.. kata saya yang dulu takkan berubah, kerana semua itu datang dari lubuk hati saya.."
saya kate:
" awak.. saya happy sangat .. semua dah selesai.. inila impian dan cita2 saya selama ni .."
dia kate:
" bagusla... (terukir senyuman berbau paksaan di bibir)"
saya kate:
"nanti saya duk jauh.. awk jangan lupakan saya tau..."
dia kate:
" mungkin awak yang akan lupakan saya.. sape la saya if nak bandingkan dengan awak..awk org pandai.."
saya kate:
"janganla kate macam tu..saya bukan org mcm tula.."
dia kate:
" sorry again ..awak..jaga diri baik2 tau.. saya sayang awak"
saya kate:
" saya pun sama =) awak caya saya kan?"
dia kate:
" saya pecaya awak. selama kite kenal pun, awk tak penah rendahkan diri saya.."
saya kate:
"awk, jangan ungkit hal ijazah lagi tau? saya mungkin lebih dari segi tu, tapi banyak bende saya tak reti buat. saya pilih awak bukan sebab tu"
dia kate:
" saya janji tak ungkit lagi hal tu..sayang tunggu awak balik.2thn je kan?"
saya kate:
T " xpelu la janji ape2..if dah takdir awk milik saya, tak kemana..tapi if awk jumpe yang lain, ape lagi saya boleh buat.."
dia kate:
" saya cume nak awak.. takde yang lain"
saya kate:
"saya cume mintak awk jujur.. jgn selindung ape2. yang penting, jauh dekat, kite sama2 gembira =)"
dia kate:
"tak sangka akan berjauhan lama2"
aya kate:
" jangan risau..internet kan ade..yang jauh pun rasa dekat"
dia kate:
"awk jaga diri ye..if awk sakit ke saya bukan boleh berenang smpai ke sana"
saya kate:
"jgn risaula.. saya bukan budak kecik :D"
dia kate:
" awk, saya boleh jadi gile nak fikirkan ayat romantik untuk awak,,tapi tak berbaloikan,, jadi saya pilih untuk jadi gile mencintai awk..selamat jalan awak "
saya kate:
" =) xde selamat tinggal untuk awk.. sbb saya pasti akan balik.."

apakah kesudahan cinta saya dan dia.. ia mungkin suatu mimpi bagi sesetengah orang, bahan gelak jenaka, cinta monyet dua insan bercinta..
ia mungkin juga suatu cerita pengisi masa lapang di kala kebosanan..
semua itu bukan sesuatu yang mudah untuk diungkapkan, diterangkan, di panjang lebarkan untuk memuaskan hati sesiapa..

usaha diteruskan.. restu dipohonkan..
doa dipanjatkan..
semoga Dia permudahkan kisah cinta saya dan dia..



salam everyone...

Just now, i was reading one blog from one of my Otago junior. b4 ckp dgn lebih lanjut. let me describe about him. his name is munir muji but sorry to say,, xtau la nm penuh dia ke tak. or munir bin muji.. (sorry munir,, dah nak dekat setahun tapi xpnah bertanya.. hihiih)..21 yrs old and a 2nd yr dentistry student. Personally, i think he is a nice guy. bukan nk puji lebih2. But that's my opinion la. Banyak bende dia kongsi terutama sekali aktiviti undergrad. plus, he has a great talent in writing n singing.. not to bad untuk telinga dengar.. i really enjoy it.. especially lagu raya baru ni... great job munir.. ok2.. xnak cite lebih2 pasal si munir.. kang kuar plak angin kus2 kat dunedin.hihhihi...
Basically, this is something that I would like to voice out. i've read his blog entitled 4 orang guru.if tak silap la... xde ape yg silap ape yg dia tulis. but i definitely touched by what kak zura adviced him.

"bila munir da kerja nanti...cuba larikan diri dari tekanan n kongkongan kerja itu dengan belajar ke peringkat yang lebih tinggi...dalami ilmu sedalam yang boleh...jangan biarkan persoalan yang ada dalam kepala itu disimpan menjadi teka teki yang tiada jawapan...cari...ungkai semua permainan minda itu dan kongsi untuk kebaikan dan kemaslahatan bersama...dan yang paling penting...seronokan diri kita dengan apa yang kita suka...cuba bina satu persekitaran yang menyeronokkan bila bekerja..."

100% right..ape yang kak zura ckp. i wish i can do that. i'm trying now.. hopefully it comes to reality. but most probably we can't get wat we want in our life. life is like a trading world. or maybe like a monopoly game. we might not be lucky most of the time.. ONCE YOU GET SOMETHING VALUABLE, YOU HAVE TO GIVE UP SOME OTHER THINGs. nothing comes free.. sometimes we are too excited when we achieve or get something. at the end of the day, we end up losing a precious thing in our life.

SHARING THING WITH PEOPLE? it is true we can't be alone by ourself. life will be nothing without other elements especially important people around us. without realizing it, those people are definitely are our back bone. supporting us no matter what happen. but have you ever experience this situation. like me, i'm the one in my whole family who studying botany. problem comes without any sign. and most of the time i really hope there is someone in my life fully understand what my prob is. i tried to share with people who i thought might understand the situstion.. but it was so hard.. i'm sure you might face this problem too. no point to deny it.. ( atleast that's what i think)..

belajar ke peringkat yg lebih tinggi,, DEFINITELY IT IS ONE OF MY ULTIMATE DREAM. I WILL ALWAYS SEARCHING FOR A CHANCE. AND THANK GOD I'M HERE. ANOTHER STEP TO BE PROUD OF. but it is all about BSc. (Hons)? Masters? or PhD? huh,, hard to say right or wrong.. Kak zura and other postgrads (female especially) are those very lucky.. they have nice and wonderful partner who support their ambition.. sacrifice so many thing, left many precious stuff back home or might be, put their ego aside to come here with their wife.. dont you think? this is nothing specifically about me. but as i think it deeply, it might happen in reality..right now, in my on shoes, i have to get atleast a PhD degree. Can i be like kak zura or any other postgards here too in future? but for anyone who doesn't get this oppoturnity, don't worry, life offers so many cool stuff to do.

TRY TO CREATE A CONDUSIVE ENVIRONMENT? Hmmm.. to be honest coming here was like jumping into a pool full of gold and diamonds. hahah..it is much easier to study here.in terms of technolgy and facilities.. not like when i was in ukm (don't get me wrong.. UKM is alwaiys the best for me) but the condition and environment are different. so, for those who read my blog ( who are studying abroad) please be grateful.. AND DON'T FORGET, GRAB EVERY SINGLE CHANCE YOU HAVE, BECAUSE IT'S NEVER COME TWICE.

basically, from what have learned until now,make sure you keep searching the best place.. the best chance..and once you have it, don't hold it too tight..sometimes it is good to loose up a bit.. may Allah guide us for what ever we do..

"it is nice to be important but it is more important to be nice"



Let me start this blog with this title. this year, 2007, I am 24 years old. Some people are afraid to reveal their own age.. But not for me I guess. It is something that I'm very proud of. THANK YOU ALLAH ..for giving me such a wonderful time since I was born. Obviously, alot of things i've learned.

Tears might drop if I start to review back what past had teached me..
Many times, friends remind me,
"Don't ever look back to your history..especially the bad, worse and the worst one"
For me, even it was the worst thing ever happened to me, I will smile today.. It doesn't mean that I'm proud to do that. But all those experiences make me grow up faster than I thought.

.. is like baking a moist chocolate cake.
haha, I know some of you are desperate to have a piece of it. Yummmyyy :)
Hmm.. ade orang very particular dgn ingredients and right measurement to bake it. Timbang sume butter, tepung bla bla bla..
But it is not a gurantee the cake will come out perfectly.. Nak mix up pun kena ade cara yang betul.
Tapi ade org main agak2 je..
Last2 jadi jugak..
Make sense? hmm.. what I mean is ,,in life what ever we do mesti ade silap kat mana2. I wouldn't know how to bake moist choc cake if I don't try to bake it again,, and again.. Everytime nk bake new cake, I will remember what I have done. Try to improve. Don't give up.
Nothing is perfect I guess.. (btulke?)
Even now, sometimes my cake taste so damn yummy... time bakar naik cantik sgt.. Tu blum buat topping lagi.. tapi,, bile kuarkan dari oven,, cake tu dh xcntik.. The cake yang tadi nmpak cantik now hampeh.. it drops.. Macam tu la sebaliknye..
Eventhough my example sounds funny or doesn't make sense to some people,,it's okay..
Moral of the story, look back to what you have done in the past. One day mesti jadi punyela...

Now, back to my 24 years.
There are so many people I would love to honour them. But I will do that later. I'm still smiling right now.. Suddenly, everything in the past pop up in my mind one by one..
Ada masa sedih, gembira, kecewa, sakit, murung, geli hati, menangis, ketawa, berangan, perasan, terpinggir, glamour, jatuh, bangun, hilang, gile, mimpi, mcm2 lagila...
Basically, at this point, I am so happy with what I have now. I have a great year so far, although life challenged me with so many unexpected things.
Great people arround me who most of them cherish my friendship to them, accept me for who I am and always care about me. Isn't that great?

Finally, before I end this page for this time, I wish Allah will continue giving me many great years ahead.
Who knows I might be able to write somthing in this blog for another 24 years.

I am truly sorry, if I did something wrong to all of you. I truly am..
Thank you so much for all of you who know me. No matter who you are, what you have done to me or we've done something or share anyhting together... Thank you..
I wish there is a word more meaningful other than THANK YOU. If it is,, each of you deserves it. From the bottom of my heart.