.: something that comot can say :.

hmm..dramatic title i guess..hihihi.. this time i would like to share my feeling being far away...of course from home la...HOME..what is the definition of home? where is it? i didnt remember when i realize about this..but suddenly it changed.but for sure one place i called home is my family n my hometown. that will never never change ever,,i was born there.i felt love,joy,sadness, happiness and evrything in side my small house and i still feel it now. i told you guys before how far i was travelling to arrive here. yeahh..people can say.. that's only new zealand.who cares..but i care..

10months here..such a big change.i'm growing up drastically.when i was in msia, i was happy too.i had good experience studying, working,,but i can that was a very normal life for me..maybe because i'm closed to my family,,i told my problems to my big bro n my sis..n most of the time they will try to figure it out for me..my brain was not working at all to solve my own technical probs..hahaha..what a spoil child..and to be honest i dont have any ambition, mission, or vision..i am a botany student,,i dont dare to say it out loud i want to be a botanist one day.have u ever heard ppl say MY AMBITION IS TO BCOME A BOTANIST WHEN I GROW UP,,,im sure all my friends who are working as a teacher now will ask their students about it..and most parents want their children to be a doctor, engineer bla bla bla..

but now,,I WANT TO BE A BOTANIST. i wish ppl can hear it from my own mouth.i really want to be someone.i want to contribute atleast something in this field..studying plant.. (i dont deny sometimes it is boring) , doing research in pollination (reminds me of ginecology--hahaha,not only ppl in human n animal studies can do research in sex) botanist do that too..what will pollinators attract to?what rewards they will get from visiting flower? how plant prepare itself to be attractive? even it is more fun because in plant study we have virgin mary....hahhhaha believe it or not..some of them will say no to male..

DNA? reminds me to CSI hahahah..such a pain in the ass...sometimes i hate CSI,,how come the can find it too easy..for 3weeks i've been working with pin and thrum flower,,searching for genetic markers for their mutant..huhu.. i wasted a lot of things,,but thank god the desire to get it done with something drive me to the end,,

can we determine our phylogeny with our odours? like human body smell,sweat..i dont think so.. (correct me if im wrong plzzz,,im sure i have so many fellow friends who involved in science)..but we can do that in plant..sooo exciting..(hihih..maybe just for me)even some specific scent produced by flower can be strong evidence to put them in their own family..ya.. of course chemist will argue about it..or dna ppl dont like this theory.. but that's reality for some botanist..

hhahaha.. im soryy..a bit lost i guess..but.. what im trying to say when i was a botany student in ukm i didnt have any desire about this.. not because the course structure is not good but it just me..sometimes i blamed myself for not good enough like some ppls,, sometime i blamed our education system..(i'm sorry)..but now..i should thank to them..ya..ALLAH knows the best for us n me especially.. n that's why im so happy now for being far away from home..every single moments here make me stronger, build up a a better NOR HARLIANA ----too early to say that but at this moment yes and i hope it will continue..

i wish that i can tell ppl what a joy and excitement studying botany..(im sure im not the only one who feel it) .. n i really want to hear new generation put botanist in their ambition's list..---am i crazy...a bit i guess.. im just in my way to digest every single crap things in my field.....

so my friends..it is suckS when we have to be far far away with our loves one.. just imagine when u want to have lunch or dinner someone from home text u and say 'MA BUAT NASI MINYAK SEMALAM, ARINI MA NAK BUAT LAKSA,, ESOK LAK.. MAYBE PG MKAN SATAY KAT LUAR KOT....'..Sounds unfair and i hate it.. but..maybe that is DUGAAN.. from what i wrote, it doesnt mean staying in our own place is not good.im sure every ppl has their own experience..and im still believe that, HUJAN EMAS DI NEGARA ORG, HUJAN BATU DI NEGARA SENDIRI, MSIA IS STILL THE BEST.. but this is what i feel..what i've been through.. n hopefully sunshine will always shine on me no matter what happened at the end of the day.. thank you Allah.. thank u for those ppls who pray for me.. may Allah bless u all.. =)